THE PACIFIER

"Red Baby!"

Lt.Shane Wolfe

Navy S.E.A.L. Shane Wolfe (Diesel) had commanded hundreds of mission facing the fiercest of enemies all around the world but nothing had prepared him for his latest assignment. After surviving jungles, deserts and every terrain know to man, he is now been deployed to suburbia. His mission is to protect the family of scientist, who gave his life to project his latest invention a device that can render an enemy's nuclear arsenal useless. The problem is that he has never had to deal with children before, never mind five of them.

What is it with action stars wanting to do family pictures? Arnie, Sly and even Van Damme did it in the 80s and 90s and now its Vin Diesel's turn.

The star that made his name in big action pics like 'xXx', 'The Fast and the Furious' and 'Pitch Black', does what Arnold Schwarzenegger did when he thought he was unstoppable at the box office, start making family pictures. While 'Twins' and 'Kindergarten Cop' were big successes for the Austrian Oak, 'The Pacifier' shouldn't be for Diesel, if there is any justice. This is an appalling movie with very few redeeming features.

First the good, what little you will find in this travesty. Of all the five kids only Morgan York shows any real talent. As Lulu Plummer, the youngest daughter she provides most of the laughs for the piece and shows she could be another child actor to watch. Brad Garrett also provides some laughs as Vice Principal Murney, the wrestling coach who thinks he can take Wolfe easily.

Now the bad and there is a lot of it. The first question you have to ask yourself is 'What the hell is Vin Diesel doing with his career?' After taking his career seriously in movies like 'Saving Private Ryan' and 'The Boiler Room', Diesel graduated to leading man status and his career seemed to be going somewhere. But with misfires like 'The Chronicles of Riddick' and choosing not to return in the sequels to some of his biggest hits, Diesel has started doing himself no favours. 'The Pacifier' is another slap across the face of a once promising career. This is 'Kindergarten Cop' for the new millennium but the problem is it isn't even as good as that. Almost drowning in sugary sentimentality, the film will have you grabbing for the sick bag as you become exposed to its overly sweet goodness and vomit inducing family values. As the misunderstood kids become the best that they can be, the whole film becomes like an advertisement for the benefits of military school, as Lt. Wolfe brings some discipline to the household. You know exactly how it's going to turn out, as the appallingly sweet musical score ushers you to the invertible conclusion.

'The Pacifier' is the worst kind of family entertainment. Poorly scripted, averagely played and another plot on Vin Diesel's career, the film is almost painful to watch as you witness another star's career go circling down the drain.